Hi everyone, this is kind of an – update / let’s talk about everything / I need to get shit out in the open – kind of post. It’s been a few months since I’ve regularly posted on here and a lot has happened since then so let’s unpack all of it together.
What was going on ?
Nothing really alarming was going on other than I felt like I wasn’t living to the best of my capabilities, I was looking for more in every aspect of my life, but I was unsure of what exactly I was looking for and how to reach those goals I had.
I made good money but i always felt drained after a day of working and had no time for my hobbies. I knew I had to take care of my mental and physical health but again, the exhaustion was never ending and so instead of working out or making a healthy yet tasty meal I’d pop a pizza pocket in the microwave and go to bed. I didn’t feel happy when I looked in the mirror. I wasn’t disappointed per say but also I knew I wasn’t expressing myself the way I wanted to but instead of getting up early in the morning, I knew my body needed the sleep so always ended up sacrificing the things I truly loved and the things that made me feel alive for the sheer purpose of surviving – which sadly, I’ve come to the realization that many of us are surviving and not living, unfortunately, i know this is something way bigger than just myself. So many people are working jobs they don’t particularly enjoy just because of the paycheck that comes with which probably only gives you access to survival and barely anything else and I must say i am eternally grateful that I’m privilege enough to be able to make the change i needed because I know it is something that everyone has the privilege, or the space to do so.
What I needed ?
I needed change. I needed to figure out what i wanted and i needed to make sacrifices in order to get the things I wanted.
I started decluttering my life in every way possible. I took the Marie Kondo saying of only keeping things that sparked joy and I applied it to every aspect of my life, my professional life, my hobbies, my physical and mental health, my spirituality, my home, my support system and routine. I sat down and thought about what truly made me happy and how to reach those goals, this made me realize there were some things that needed to be let go in order for me to reach the things I wanted the most, so I got to work. First thing I did was a major cleanup of my living space, in my opinion, it is always easier to fix your life when your living area is nice, clean and tidy. I am someone who lives collecting things, I love owning things that I find beautiful and that make me happy but comes a time when I have more than I need and the things I don’t use end up cluttering my life, so I went through every single thing I owned and only kept what I truly loved or needed. Once that was done, not only was it easier to start thinking about the routine I wanted to adopt but it was also easier to envision what I wanted in life and how I could achieve it.
Here are the things I wanted; to have enough money to pay my bills, to not be overworked as I have been in the past, have a balanced mental health and focus on my long-term goals which included writing and eventually working for myself.
How are things now ?
Now, I’ve found a routine that works for me and although I am still adjusting in some respects, I have now found the balance I needed between all the aspects of my life. I’ve started allowing myself the time I need to start my day the right way, whether it is by choosing the right outfit, drinking my coffee on my porch, meditating and or practicing yoga after my morning coffee, being artistic with the makeup I wear on the daily basis – all those things I now do are giving me a better outlook on life. I don’t wake up anticipating the time I’ll go back to bed anymore; I wake up and I’m excited for what’s to come during the day.
What are my goals moving forward ?
The greatest thing about all this self-work I’ve been doing is that now that I truly feel like who I want to be and who I am meant to be. Moving forward, I want to learn, read, and travel more. I’m learning to spend my money wisely and be more resourceful in the things I want. I dedicate time for myself, my spiritual journey and my well-being every day and it is something that helps me grow as a person immense fully.
My goals moving forward for myself are to take care of both my physical and mental health. I’ve done a lot of shadow work these past few months which have brought me to be where I am today and I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been, with that accomplished, I now am able to focus on my physical health in a positive aspect. I also want to keep on working towards my writing goals which includes my blog.
I have a lot of exciting plans for the upcoming year, and I am more than excited about where my life is headed, I hope to see you throughout it all.
Stay tuned, from now on, every Friday at 3pm (my time which is 2pm EST and 7pm UTC if I am correct) a new post will be up!
xoxo
To all my subscribers; Thank you for your support and your continuous love, you mean the world to me. ps; I will be posting different days and at different times for the next few weeks as i'm trying to see which day / what time has better traffic..
seven late night thoughts with zoe 
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